Neutral Thinking, Have you ever been told ‘just stay positive’ when everything was clearly going wrong? But not every bad day needs a positive quote. What if the problem is not negativity, but forced positivity?
Life may sometimes be good, a feeling like you are on cloud nine, it may sometimes even feel like the world is literally about to end, or it may just be… life.
The Problem With Forced Positivity
We currently live in a world where we are socialized to believe that “Staying Positive” is the solution to everything. Feeling Stressed? Stay Positive, Feeling Lost? Stay Positive. But being told constantly to smile through difficult situations can be exhaustive.
The Middle Ground: Neither Positive nor Negative
Life rarely ever fits into defined and boundaried categories of “Good” or “Bad”. Some days feel like a victory, like you can achieve anything that you put your mind to. Some days feel overwhelming and you just can’t wait till the day is over and the rest of the days just pass by, nothing interesting, just the usual routine. When things take an unexpected turn, our thoughts go to the extremes most of the time.
We either go into a meltdown and think of the worst possible outcome or we just keep on trying to convince ourselves that everything is fine even if it really isn’t. None of these really help us. What we most often need is a more balanced and calm way of thinking that is not so extreme.
Do you sometimes feel that the expression “just stay positive” may be taken as sounding indistinct particularly at times when life is hard? And quite the opposite, let us admit, the constant negativity has its drawbacks. But the best scenario is the middle ground between the two extremes.
I mean, the place where one is under no obligation to be smiling all the time but at the same time does not have to resort to the doom scrolling.
It is a location where one may approve of his or her emotions by being passive. Where one’s feelings are displayed with no filters neither the panic nor the clarity ever takes control. When the feelings are at their highest, even small problems appear to be gigantic mountains. And the truth is that not all situations provoke a response and not all problems have a “silver lining.” Sometimes, the most straightforward and most reasonable action is simply to watch the situation without giving it a label.
The Power of Pause and Perspective
The very strong emotions may take a great deal of energy but at the same time hardly lead to any result. The power of magic is at the moment of our pause, breath, and reminder that the majority of dilemmas are just temporary. From there on, we can deal with them by using balance, a little calmness, and probably even a smile.
The trip of finding middle ground, however, isn’t all smooth-sailing. The reason is that the very architecture of the human brain compels it to pay attention to the extremes-the very extremes that attract, drain, are a ‘must-do.’ The fast dissemination of bad news when compared to good news forms that small snag because of which life can result in disaster. The middle ground, on the other hand, which is one of calmness, requires a certain amount of intention on our part. The middle ground beckons us to slow down, withdraw, and fight against this urge inside us to do something impulsively. It is a process, not a switch that merely changes from on to off.
This space results from such practices as observing your thoughts. It is neither bad nor good; it is simply a matter of recognizing that the thought happens to be passing through. Thoughts can be the clouds passing across the sky above you. Some come, and some stay for a little while until they evaporate. You will not have a problem reacting to any situation with calmness, and with less impulse into action, since you would understand these kinds of thoughts are transitory in nature, not permanent in nature. Your feelings can still be anxiety, anger, and sadness, but you can hold them and not lose yourself to them.
The other technique is to always keep yourself in the present moments. Our problems and ups and downs are quite often a result of our preoccupation with the past as well as the future. We are always pondering over what all has been going wrong the previous day, or what all might go wrong on the following day. But if our mind is occupied with the present-with what is happening all around us, with what we can see, hear, feel, and do in the present -the charge against us will begin to dwindle.
This middle way helps us to assimilate a teaching of optimistic realism; it is not a question of playing the fool and acting as though all were well when in fact it was not, but rather that of a faculty endowed with the capacity to confront problems bringing difficulties, yet simultaneously possessing the awareness that one has the power to overcome the problem.
As a matter of fact, the truth behind it is that life isn’t easy, but one can go on living life; find a solution to problems, learn to adjust, learn to suffer.
“By neutral thinking, I mean patience not with other people but with ourselves, with life. We can learn to accept that we don’t have the answers now, that we will never be perfect, and that gives us the freedom to move ahead at our own pace. Our feelings are changing, we make mistakes, we are unsure, that’s life.
Neutral Thinking and the Pressure to Stay Positive
This is even true when it is considered from the perspective of our dealings with people. Our great power may still impact our dealings because going overboard is a way of keeping people away, but a way of acting as though we are positive gives our feelings no visibility when dealing with people with a calm awareness that helps us communicate our feelings, which might still make our dealings honest, although not overwhelming. Even creativity thrives through the middle path. Now, the mind is liberated from the stringency of panic, from “the need to always be upbeat.” Now, the mind is free to roam, connect with other thoughts, make new discoveries with no fear of making a mistake.
Nothing killed creative vision more than a negative mindset set. It is thus not only that this middle path is a land of peace, but it is a special land of growth. It is, of course, not that life changes and all problems are solved. But what happens when one proceeds to middle life-when one’s position on life changes: “problems are no longer short journeys that need to be overcome but mountains that are insurmountable, crises that need to be survived.”
The problems that are small are still catastrophic, but small successes are considered to be major successes. In a situation where one is being torn apart with forced happiness, negative thinking, remember that the middle path is always a choice.
This is where one has a chance to breathe, to see, to respond. The middle path provides an opportunity to understand your feelings but not be controlled by your feelings, to recognize that problems exist but are not consumed by problems.
Conclusion:
This is a path which dares someone to seek the truth but remain balanced. This path, this middle path, to stay in it, calls for a little learning. Every stop, every breath, every observation of these feelings provides your capacity to cope with the highs and lows of life. It is in the middle, in the quietness, in the balance that one does have a chance to discover-not exactly peace, but maybe a sense of clarity, a sense of strength, a sense of happiness that may be lurking within the poles.
